You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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