New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
