how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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