Who wears a wallet chain?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
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other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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