She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
