I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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