Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
A bitchslap is in order.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
