3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
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It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.