Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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