she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize