It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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