I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
