He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
