just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
