My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
