Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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