Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
