The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
