do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
