You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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