i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
