I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
