I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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