I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
