we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
