We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize