I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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