To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
