I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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