this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
