This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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