i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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