I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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