We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
