I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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