Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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