If i come over, it means nothing
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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