I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
