So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
