We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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