so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
