Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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