Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize