It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
its not stalking. its research.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
