I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize