You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You can't just leave with hair like that
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
