Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
this will be a night to untag.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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