I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
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Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
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He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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