Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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