shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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