another moral hangover. fuck.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
