Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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