i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
