I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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