do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
