she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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