They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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