the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
