I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
