you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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