wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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