omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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