i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
