so that wasnt chicken after all
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
