I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
