Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
