May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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