I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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