College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
