i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
try to milk me bitch
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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