By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
