You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
