The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
