There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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