my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
