dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize